German Man Nearly Dies Mooning a Train

A German man nearly went out in style after the train he was mooning got caught on his pants, and carried him away. The man took this half-naked ride for almost 200 yards when finally a passenger on the train stopped laughing long enough to pull the emergency brake. Save for some cuts and bruises, and a few criminal charges, the man is safely resting at home. My bet is, those drawers don’t come down for a couple of weeks.

The art of mooning is something I hold very close to my heart. I’d like to think that between the ages of 8-18, I was as prolific a mooner as there was in Logan County, Ohio. Sure, most kids have mooned people at some point during their youth. However, I mooned so often that most times my bum had a sun tan. I was fearless, and I didnt discriminate. I mooned young people, old people, friends, strangers, rich folks, and poor folks. I mooned people in different towns, and even different states. If I could have been paid for it, I’d be retired today.

What set me apart from most mooners was my courage. Not only did I moon people passing by in the cars beside us, I mooned people behind, and in front of us. Chris Weiser will tell you that the day he towed his Chevette to the junkyard, my butt prints were still burned into the passenger side of his windshield. But I never limited myself to only cars. I mooned from houses, school buses, roadsides, and even highway overpasses. The highway overpass was the optimal location to moon law enforcement vehicles. But I would recommend “working up” to that type of activity.

My infamous mooning career nearly ended almost before it started. Like most kids growing up in rural Ohio, I rode a school bus to and from school every day. Obviously, the very back seats were the most coveted seats on the bus for various reasons. One of those reasons….was mooning. By our 4th grade year, the Hart brothers and I had managed to score the back seats. One day however, my bravery got in the way of due diligence, and I thought my life would change forever. We were stopped outside Middleburg one day when a sedan pulled up behind us. I sprung into action! Without warning, my buns were firmily pressed against the back window. It was cold, and immediately I could feel my well tanned skin tighten, but the excitement I got from mooning that unsuspecting car was intoxicating. The Hart brothers and I celebrated my new conquest. We could carve another notch in the backseat! I suppose curiosity overcame me though, and I turned to see what the victim looked like, hoping to get a good look of the terror on their face. But to my terror, the face in that car was all too familiar. My victim that afternoon, was my Aunt LuAnne. That was the first time I thought that my life might end. Lucky for me, she either didnt recognize those sun-tanned butt cheeks, or she chose to keep it our little secret, but never a word was ever mentioned about it.

I’ll surely never forget that day nearly 25 years ago. And I’m sure she never will either. She needn’t worry about a repeat of that day however, I’ve been retired from competitive mooning for several years now. I’m glad to say, my bum is as white as it’s ever been.

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